October 26, 2012
Clocks in Heaven
A man died and went to heaven. As he
stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a
huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those
clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are
Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time
you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is
that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands
have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And
whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham
Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that
Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's President Obama's clock?"
asked the man.
"Obama's clock is in Jesus' office.
He's using it as a ceiling
fan."
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October 16, 2012
Received this in my e-mail:
Our politicians start out wanting to make the country better, most of them lose their way because special interest groups corrupt them. GREED is what causes corruption.
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July 30, 2012
From The Black Sphere Newsletter
Does this not tell you how bad our Administration is running the country? THIS is what his policy and agenda has done to us. If they tell you the country is on the right track, smack that smug face until it turns blue.
I entitled this tab "Just for Laughs," but nothing about the photograph below is funny. What is funny is that Obama and his goons are still trying to convince you that there is nothing wrong with the economy. He really believes that these people in line want handouts instead of jobs.
Job Fair, Job UnFair, or UnJob Fair?...
A recent job fair in Atlanta...the product of Obamanation.
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This is a good one from Bert Atkinson, Jr.
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Patty Myers from Montana on liberal Democrat,
Alan Simpson
I read this one before but it is funny and should be a
vailable for everyone to read:
Carmen
Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming , Co-Chair of
the Deficit Commission, calls senior citizens the
Greediest Generation as he compared "Social Security"
to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats.
Here's a response in a letter from PATTY MYERS in Montana ...
I think she is a little ticked off! She also tells it like it is!
"Hey Alan, let's get a few things straight..
1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS.
2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old.
I am now 63).
3 My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely
tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud.
4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN.
5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills.
6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent
bastards spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you
ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more
to pay off YOUR debt. To add insult to injury, you label us "greedy" for calling "bullshit" on your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU.
7. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career?
8. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you
receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers?
9. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?
10. What cuts in YOUR retirement and healthcare benefits are you proposing in your
disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual, have you exempted yourself and your political cronies?
It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators called Congress who are
the “greedy" ones. It is you and your fellow nutcases who have bankrupted America
and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers. And for what? Votes. That's right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers.
You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.
And you can take that to the bank, you miserable son of a bitch.
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Heaven and Hell
While walking down the street one day a corrupt senator (that may be redundant) was
tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the
entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do
with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend
one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to
hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the
distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians
who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to
greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting
rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on
lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very
friendly guy who is dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that
before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and
waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting
for him, now it's time to visit heaven... So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a
group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They
have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter
returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it
before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered
with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash
and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground. The devil comes over to
him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a
golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and
danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my
friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil smiles at him and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted..."
Just because the promises sound so great...it does not always mean they will
really do as they promise. First of all, you have to go beyond what the c
andidate/politician is saying. Do your research. Can the candidate really
deliver on what he said, or is it even Constitutional? If it sounds too good to
be true...it probably is.
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Received from my daughter, forwarded to her by a friend.
I was eating lunch and drinking my coffee with my 7-year-old grandaughter
and I asked her, "What is the 20th of February?"
She said "President's Day!"
She is a smart kid, so, I asked her, "What does President's Day mean?" I was
waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln etc.
She replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White
House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.
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The Air Force -solving problems since 1947!
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10 years ago the USA had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
Now they have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.
